Before you read, know this: I recommend the book The Lies We Believe by Dr. Chris Thurman. Great study and it will open your eyes.
It does not matter what profession you are in or how young or old you may be, we all deal with this. We tell ourselves that we need everyone’s love and approval. In most cases, we might be seeking a specific person’s love and approval. Trying to please an acquaintance, a peer, a student, a teacher, an in-law, the boss, etc. The emotional roller coaster comes in for a stop and asks you to board. We get on, maybe hesitantly, but it must be for the best, right? Pleasing this one individual will make my life better. Sure, I might deal with anger, guilt, sadness, and the stress may skyrocket out of the roof, but it is worth it. LIES. It is not worth it.
Our Lord and Savior never told us that loving someone would result in their love in return. What he did say is this:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40
One of the most difficult passages of scripture to read and make applicable to our lives, in my opinion, is found in Luke 6:27-34. Christ discusses loving our enemies, doing good to those who hate us, blessing them when they slander our name and abuse us. It is the “turn the other cheek” passage. It is here we read of The Golden Rule: “as you wish others would do to you, do so to them.” This is troubling, loving our enemies and praying for them. I’m sure you agree with me, it’s easier said then done. But I suppose that is what makes Christians set apart from the world: We love no matter what. Even some Christians will treat us unfairly (a co-worker, a family member, an in-law, a peer, etc.) but the Lord says treat others the way you want to be treated. Will they treat you the same way? That’s up to them. Love God and love others, that is the best we can do.
The truth is that some people are not going to like us or what we do, no matter how hard we try. In the attempt to gain everyone’s love and approval through chronic acquiescence, though, we may lose ourselves. How then to solve this dilemma? A good way is to keep telling yourself the truth (that you can’t have everyone’s approval and that trying to only makes yo
ur life worse) that will confound this lie every time you’re caught in it.
Dr. Chris Thurman – The Lies We Believe